Category Archives: Rants

I think I’m dying

Yes, I am being dramatic, but FOR THE LOVE OF GOD there is no way my body can sustain this level of intake vs. outtake for much longer. EVEN MY CAT APPEARS CONCERNED, which he is demonstrating by staring intently … Continue reading

Posted in Bugs, I hate people, Rants | Leave a comment

Dit und Dat

So, in general, I am pretty terrible at sleeping, something which is only getting worse as I get older. Here are a few things that will legitimately keep me up at night if they are not remedied immediately. (NONE OF … Continue reading

Posted in I hate people, I love animals more than people, Rants, Rightwing dickwads | Tagged | 4 Comments

Guns and Books are Basically the Same

The other day, I watched exactly twenty minutes of Glenn Beck. Now, twenty minutes is not a particularly long time. For example, I cannot get to work in twenty minutes. I cannot go grocery shopping in twenty minutes. I cannot … Continue reading

Posted in Bad ideas, Rants, Rightwing dickwads | Tagged , | 1 Comment

I’m Sorry, But This Entry Is About Condoms

I want to know who decided that “Trojan” would be a good brand name for condoms. Am I MISSING something? Isn’t “Trojan” the EXACT OPPOSITE image you would want to evoke in selling a product that is supposed to keep … Continue reading

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Baby Showers Are Weird But Pooh is Pretty Great

I like babies. I’m not saying I don’t like babies. Babies are cute. In fact, there was a baby in front of me at CVS the other day (her mother was there too, don’t worry), and we became best friends. … Continue reading

Posted in Literature, Rants | Tagged | 2 Comments


First of all, I’m so clueless about blogging that I don’t know whether “Creaky Machinations” is my blog name or my user name. Or both. Whatever. In any case, I’d like to clarify something for you, dear reader: Creaky Machinations … Continue reading

Posted in Poetry, Rants | Leave a comment