Plans have changed again, and now I am definitely Cologne-bound. WOW. This must really be an emotional roller-coaster ride for the avid readers of my blog! Well, all three of you can relax now. The pressing is-she-going-to-Cologne-or-is-she-not-going-to-Cologne question has been answered definitively. PLEASE DO NOT ASK ME WHY THIS HAS CHANGED SO MANY TIMES. Traveling is hard. Anyway, so yes, I will be flying into Frankfurt and then taking a train to Cologne. There I will be picked up by two colleagues who are NOT jet-lagged, and who will thus almost certainly find me quite unpleasant. It’s going to be pretty great.
IN ANTICIPATION OF MY TRIP TO GERMANY, and because I like to pretend I am a scholar of German philosophy (I am not) who may someday read German philosophers in their original language (I will not), I AM CONSIDERING TAKING A GERMAN LANGUAGE CLASS. Unless I decide NOT to take a German language class, which is possible, because it is very expensive, and will pretty much rob me of my Sundays for the next three months.
HERE IS WHERE I WAS GOING TO INSERT A POLL ABOUT WHETHER I SHOULD TAKE A GERMAN LANGUAGE CLASS. Then I didn’t, for two reasons:
- I’m concerned there would be no votes.
- I’m concerned there would be a MILLION votes, because my brother rigged up some sort of weird Microsoft-enabled electronic voting thing that selected “Yes (Ja)” and then added comments consisting of randomly-generated names of cheeses.
Actually, neither of those is true. The reason I didn’t insert a poll is that, in order to do so, I had to sign up for a website other than WordPress. I AM TIRED OF SIGNING UP FOR WEBSITES. Also, the website was called…”Poll Daddy.”
To summarize:
- I am going to Cologne.
- I may take a German language course.
- I did not sign up for Poll Daddy.
Okay, I wasn’t going to say anything, but I changed my mind: AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO THINKS POLL DADDY IS AN ABSURD AND VAGUELY DIRTY NAME?!
Burning and Frigid 
No, you’re not the only one. But I think you’re going to have to try a little harder to earn your byline, “I may offend you.” Let’s start by sharing the details of your Kenmore Square fight … did you kick a bitch in the uterus (see … more potential to offend)?
It was a dude, and the scrotum.
Not really, BUT I COULD HAVE IF I WANTED TO.
You’re the second person to comment on the byline. I guess I’m either going to have to rethink it, or kick more birches. In the uteri.
My phone changed “bitches” to “birches.” I can’t even be offensive when I try.
You responded to a blog post on your phone?
Are you good at technology, or something?
Yes! Also, good at responding to blog posts on my phone WHILE DRIVING!
Not so good at driving.