Not Actually Cologne-Bound At All, In Fact

So, here’s the thing. It turns out I don’t know anything about German trains, and that I misunderstood something or other from someone or other, and as a result I was completely wrong about taking a train from Frankfurt to Cologne to Bonn. I am not doing this at all! Of which my mildly alarmed colleague informed me first thing Monday morning, having read my misinformed blog entry. Thank you, mildly alarmed colleague! And sorry for mildly alarming you. Anyway, everything is fine, and I probably will not accidentally end up in Berlin.

Also guys, it’s actually Köln, not Cologne, and I don’t know why we Americans need to add all those extra letters. Maybe it’s because in order to do the umlaut I had to google “koln” and then copy and paste the umlauted “o” from the Interwebs. Maybe it’s also because I just made “umlaut” an adjective, which it almost certainly cannot be. Okay, fine. I get it. AMERICANS CANNOT HANDLE FOREIGN THINGS LIKE UMLAUTS UMLAUTE.*

In other news, 99% of people have told me that I should see a doctor about my tick bite, including several people who are in training to be doctors themselves. However, I intend to ignore all of them, and instead go with the advice of my father, who had this to say:

Me: Dad, I maybe got a tick bite. I don’t have to go to the doctor, right?
Dad: You MAYBE got a tick bite?
Me: Well. Sure. I mean, I didn’t EXAMINE it. I’m not a BIOLOGIST. Or an endologist, or whatever the -gist is that does bugs.
Dad: But did it look like a tick.
Me: Well. Yes.
Dad:And did it stick in your skin a little.
Me: Wellllllll, yes.
Dad: And were you in the woods.
Me: Yessss….
Dad: Eh, I wouldn’t worry about it.

So, shut up everyone. My dad cleaned teeth on an aircraft carrier and HE KNOWS STUFF.

*Edited to note the third reason Americans cannot handle an umlaut: IT IS REALLY CONFUSING TO PLURALIZE.

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1 Response to Not Actually Cologne-Bound At All, In Fact

  1. Creaky Machinations says:


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