Vegaaaaaas

Here are some things I learned while traveling for business in Las Vegas:

1. Tom Collichio’s restaurants are overrated. SORRY, but it’s true. My dad’s lobster is better.

2. Rick Moonen’s restaurants are underappreciated. THEY POUR LIQUID NITROGEN OVER HOT TEA TO COOL IT DOWN. At your table. It is even more awesome than you are imagining right now: trust me.

3. When a male bathroom attendant holds open the door of the ladies’ room for you and says, “Madame, your chariot awaits,” it seems elegant. UNTIL YOU THINK ABOUT IT AT ALL, and then you’re a little weirded out.

4. Clubs are gross and I hate them.

5. The best way to not forget any important items at a bar or restaurant is to count everything before you leave. The worst way to not forget any important items at a bar or restaurant is to realize that you are about to miss the Bellagio watershow, and then rush the process of closing your tab. Fortunately, Vegas bartenders are very responsible about holding on to credit cards. UNFORTUNATELY, you are probably still going to miss the Bellagio watershow.

6. Late-night pancakes are extremely effective at preventing hangovers.

7. The best conversations are overheard in Vegas. Example: The guy on the phone with his girlfriend who was getting reamed out for not calling her while he was on vacation. “Yeah, I was on Twitter. SO? What, I’m not allowed to use TWITTER now? It doesn’t take nearly as long to tweet something as it does to make a phone call you know, IT IS ONLY ONE HUNDRED AND FORTY CHARACTERS. And I’ve been really busy, we’ve been really BUSY here.” Then, a litany of activities in which he had partaken that had prevented him from calling, one of which was – I SWEAR TO GOD THIS IS TRUE – ”writing my autobiography.”

8. Some stuff about SAP.

I like drinking tea, and knitting, and going to bed early. I prefer the country to the city. Bright blinking lights are annoying to me, and masses of people are even worse. I THINK GAMBLING IS NOT AT ALL FUN.

And yet…there’s something about Las Vegas.

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