Monthly Archives: March 2011

Guns and Books are Basically the Same

The other day, I watched exactly twenty minutes of Glenn Beck. Now, twenty minutes is not a particularly long time. For example, I cannot get to work in twenty minutes. I cannot go grocery shopping in twenty minutes. I cannot … Continue reading

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I hate people. I love people.

So, when I was a senior in high school, I decided to try out that whole “dark and depressed moody teenager” thing. I was pretty good at it! My hair was dyed “plum,” I identified with books like The Bell … Continue reading

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The most interesting thing I read today was an article about the hardest words to translate into English: Sadly, the list did not include the one word I wanted it to include, a Czech word: litost. I learned about … Continue reading

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Twitter is 140 Characters

It’s like he reads my blog, or something.

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Actually, Chuck Grassley Wins LIFE

After posting the previous blog entry, in which I explain that everyone should join Twitter in order to avoid Alzheimer’s, I decided that googling “Chuck Grassley” and “Twitter” would be a great idea. I COULD NOT HAVE BEEN MORE CORRECT. … Continue reading

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Chuck Grassley Wins Twitter

Sometimes in the middle of the night I have weird ideas that seem GREAT, but then I wake up and realize that they are not at all great. One of these ideas was to create a full blog entry out … Continue reading

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Here are some things I learned while traveling for business in Las Vegas: 1. Tom Collichio’s restaurants are overrated. SORRY, but it’s true. My dad’s lobster is better. 2. Rick Moonen’s restaurants are underappreciated. THEY POUR LIQUID NITROGEN OVER HOT … Continue reading

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I’m Sorry, But This Entry Is About Condoms

I want to know who decided that “Trojan” would be a good brand name for condoms. Am I MISSING something? Isn’t “Trojan” the EXACT OPPOSITE image you would want to evoke in selling a product that is supposed to keep … Continue reading

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In Which I Write a Blog Entry To Avoid the Gym

Here are some things that I am excited about: 1. My orchid. I HAVE AN ORCHID, and I was really bad at taking care of it for the first six months. By which I mean, I watered it entirely too … Continue reading

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